Another one cracks the dust

[moe81]

Based off nonoji’s latest art work, Zoro in drag.

I had the urge to write a fic where someone walks in on him.

Number 1

 

"Oi, Zo-! What the hell are you wearing?"

 

"You always ask why I sleep during the day. This is why."

 

"But-?"

 

"Where do you think most of our money comes from anyway?"

 

 

Number 2

 

"Oi, Zo-! What the hell are you wearing?"

 

"Eeeeeek. Don't look at me you damn pervert!"

 

"Marimo-swaannnn~~~"

 

 

 

Number 3

 

"Oi, Zo-! What the hell are you wearing?"

 

"It's not what it looks like."

 

"Really? Don't forget your lipstick."

 

"Eh? Oh damn. Knew I forgot something."

 

 

This conversation created a drabble

 

*snorts*

 

You were the one who suggested it; you have no right to snort at poor, sweet Zorolina.

 

Poor Zorolina needs to make some beli before Nami cracks him over the head.

 

Yes. So true.

 

I’m trying to remember... does she ever shout at him for sleeping all the time?

 

Hmmmm. No that’s Sanji.

 

Interesting. So she does have him working.

 

And poor poor Sanji hasn’t been able to reap the benefits.

 

 

Drabble: Look for nonoji’s comments

 

"Woman, what the hell have you got me wearing?"

 

"Zoro, please. I'm female. I know what attracts men."

 

"Fine, but how the hell do you expect me to put this on? It laces at the back."

 

"Get Sanji to help you."

 

"Hmm. Oi, shit-cook. Need you!"

 

"The fuck you want, cabbage head?"

 

"Here. Lace this for me."

 

"Wha... urk."

 

"Cook, swallowing your cigarette isn't helping you know."

 

"M-m-marimo-swannn~~"

 

 

Get Sanji to pay for services

 

 

"Zoro~"

 

"Dammit woman, can't you see I’m busy?"

 

"So sorry, Zoro. Umm...Sanji, if you're going to partake in the goods, you're going to have to pay."

 

"Fiiinnee. Harder you asshole!"

 

*post coital cigarette*

 

"Don't forget to pay the witch, dartboard."

 

"Oi. Think I'd get a discount if I pay in advance?"

 

 

omigod, its a regular occurrence!!

 

 

"Sanji-kun?"

 

"Yes, my mellorine?"

 

"Your time slot with Zoro is coming up."

 

*swallows cigarette*

 

"Thank you, N-n-nami-san."

 

~~~~

"Oi, woman? I think you double booked me."

 

"I'm sure I didn't, Zoro." 

 

"Really? Then why are both the cook and Ace waiting for me in the bunk room?"

 

"Oh. Well, my mistake. But I’m sure you can make it work, right Zoro?"

 

~~~~

*somewhere down the Grand Line*

 

"Brat. What the hell is this?"

 

"No idea what you're talking about, Taisa."

 

"Really? So you weren't with Roronoa and Blackleg over a week ago?"

 

"Oh hell. She said she wouldn't send those out."

Comments

[moe81.livejournal.com]

Probably a good thing I don't have a complex. All this superiority may just go to my head and make it big enough that I won't be able to fit through the door.

I'm leaving a crack-filled legacy? I can die happy now. 8D

[popkin16]

Haha, then you'd have to invest into double doors just to get inside your house. So it's a good thing you don't have a superiority complex ^_^

You sure are! Um, well. I'm all for dying happy, but just don't do it now. Perhaps like 50 years from now?

[moe81.livejournal.com]

hmm... guess I could knock out a couple of walls.

50 years? That's a long time for a lot of crack. There is no way I'm going to be sane by the end of this, am I?

[popkin16]

You could do that too. And have a special pillow made so you can rest your weary head on.

Psh. Who wants to be sane, anyway? :D

[moe81.livejournal.com]

ego!pillows. That's a really good idea. I know quite a few people who could probably do with one.

Sane? Not us! No way! Never! Who the hell suggested that?

[popkin16]

Ego!pillows, haha. Best name ever. If you created the first ego!pillow, you could make a fortune selling it to the people you know that could use one.

I'm not sure, but whoever did suggest it should be punished!

[moe81.livejournal.com]

We should have an ego!pillow fight. How cool would that be?

Let's make them sit through hours of crack. They should change their minds then. Or is that not punishment enough?

[popkin16]

The coolest! Like getting hit with a cloud -- since those people with ego!heads are going to need something soft to rest their poor, weary heads on. *Wants to have an ego!pillow fight now*

Hmm...depends on the crack. Because there is some truly enjoyable crack out there. Perhaps...crack-that-induces-brain-breakage? Make them sit through back-to-back crack, too. THERE WILL BE NO BREAKS OR MERCY FOR THEM.

[moe81.livejournal.com]

*thwump* Here have a pillow. *smirks*

You really are kind of evil, aren't you?

If there's going to be brain-breakage, you get to clean up the mess. Could probably hose down the concrete. Quick and efficent like and get the room ready for the next batch.

[popkin16]

How very kind of you. But I think we should share! *PILLOW'D*

Yesss, I am. It's just so much fun!

We could always set down some tarp or something before hand, so when brain-breakage occurs, we just move the victim prisoner, the chair he was sitting on, and just take the tarp out back and hose it down, then put everything back - minus the prisoner, of course - and start again.

[moe81.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's ON! *grabs two pillows*

You've thought about this kind of torture a lot haven't you? Maybe a little too much. Or are you already practicing this form of breakage and have yet to share with everyone else? If so... that's mean and you should selling ring-side seats.

[popkin16]

You cannot defeat Teh Ego!Pillow Mastah, young one. *Grabs two pillows and awkwardly holds a third in her mouth* What now?!

Well, I watch a lot of movies. And after years and years of it, you start to pick up on what the villains do wrong that causes them to get caught. So then you start to think about what they could do to not get caught...>_> And I might have tried the brain breakage thing once or twice. *shifty eyes* I've never thought about trying to sell seats. Hmm...

[moe81.livejournal.com]

CHEATER! *grabs extra-large-double-stuffed pillows*

Hmm, well that does explain the increase in therapy that's been needed and also the counselling for fail!villainy. We'll need a ticketmaster, someone with a good head for business. Someone like....that person over there.

[popkin16]

I-I'm not cheater. *Shifty eyes* I am afeared of your super large pillows.

I bet counselors for failed villains make good money. They'd have to, if they sit through hours and hours of repeated tales of how they were deafeated by so-and-so. *Looks 'over there'* Oh yes, that person looks like a responsible, reliable fellow. OI, WANNA MAKE SOME MONEY?

[moe81.livejournal.com]

Yes. Fear me. I come wielding fluff down monstrosities and they will obliterate any puffiness they meet.

WE GOT CASH! And if that doesn't work for you, you can listen to these guys and feel great in the knowledge that there is someone out there with a sadder lot in life than what you've got.

*whispers* That's kinda mean innit?

[popkin16]

I fear j00 like I fear...Asschin. *Response was influenced by your icon, which totally wins* Yes, I fear j00 that much!!

LOL *Whisper* Maybe a little...but it's a necessary mean! They'll be sure to join now, and we need them.

[moe81.livejournal.com]

Everyone should fear asschin. It's just that evil. You should also fear brazil nuts 'cause they hurt when launched at your head.

*whispers* Well it's not like we'd do it anyway so we need those that can sit there and listen to others just ramble on and on and on and then we can go and make fun of all the little villainous people who have nothing better to do.

[popkin16]

Asschin is the epitome of evil. I should? I've never been hit in the head with a brazil nut. So I'll take your word for it!

*whispers back* Sounds like a plan to me. We'll pawn the whiny villains off on others and go and have fun!

[moe81.livejournal.com]

If you want a softer nut, I recommend possibly cashews or even almonds. *believes this is good advice*

And since they're villains, they won't even know what's happening until we've done it. *winks*

[popkin16]

Thank you for your recommendation. I'll definitely keep it in mind! XD *Thinks it sounds like good advice*

But of course. Villains aren't the brightest bunch. Or how else would they keep getting beat?