Fic: Mud Bath

[moe81]

Title: Mud Bath

Rating: M

Pairing: Zoro/Sanji

A/N: For Sybile who inspires the little kinks… and this WAS supposed to be a drabble. Guess not.

Sanji’s current thoughts were simple.

 

“Die.”

 

The shitty captain’s hearing was too good because all he could hear was damn hearty chuckling and a high pitched giggle twinging against his eardrums and the shitty longnose was going to suffer as well for finding amusement from this.

 

“Come on, shit-cook. You’re starting to look like part of the landscape.”

 

Sanji growled. “You’re the green-headed dumb shit that landed us in here.”

 

“Che. Would you move already or are you so weak that you can’t defeat shit like this?” Zoro picked up a handful of mud and threw it at Sanji. He dodged. Or he would have if his foot hadn’t slipped, landing face first and ass up.

 

Even the unexpected sound of Zoro laughing couldn’t stop the explosion of swear words from the cook and he was sure he just swallowed a mouthful of the disgusting slime.

 

“Sanji-kun, get out of there now!” His angel, his love, his one true goddess was calling to him. His eye fluttered to a heart and he jumped up, legs turning to jelly and that probably hadn’t been the smartest thing to do. He was flat on his back in the mud again.

 

Something poked him in the head and he flicked a hand back while he searched his soggy clothes for a cigarette. It poked him again…and again. He growled and grabbed the offending object, pulling it hard. Apparently he was full of great ideas today.

 

His breath left him in a whoosh of cursed air as the great lump of marimo fell on him, katana spinning out of reach. A hand planted itself in his stomach and pushed down hard and any attempt at drawing air had suddenly become null and void. His palm slammed down against an ear and the following howl was worth the ringing in his head.

 

If he’d been in a better position, he may have been amazed at just how creative Zoro was with his swearing. His attempt at separating them was a futile gesture; the great idiot just sliding down, mud transferring from one body to the other and his suit was never going to be clean again.

 

There was a vibration against his legs, which raced up his spine and hit him in the back of the throat as Zoro spoke. “I was trying to help asshole.” There was more squirming and cursing and a booted foot was planted in his face.

 

An arm was wrapped around his lower legs and the world suddenly turned. Face full of mud again and his knee jerked, the pained grunt making him feel better even if it did get him a punch to the ribs. He flung his arm out and his fingers searched for a hold on anything within reach. They connected with warm skin and he dug his nails in, clenching hard and Zoro’s manly grunt turned into a not-so-manly squeal. The body under his thrashed about and Zoro’s torso somehow wrapped itself around his legs, a muscled thigh rubbing against his groin and that should have bothered him but it really didn’t and yeah ok, that shouldn’t have felt good either but fuck.

 

Sanji turned his head and a scarred ankle flashed into his vision. His teeth clamped down and the marimo roared. “You fucking bastard! WHATTHEFUCKYOUPIECEOFSHIT!” A hand in his hair yanked hard and he swore as a flailing leg smacked him on the nose, his vision blurring.

 

A leg – possibly the same leg – wound around his hips while another one rubbed him the wrong…right?...way and apparently Zoro was a lot bendier than first thought and he was trapped tight between two very hard thighs. His shirt was open and his stomach was being molested by the hot skin of Zoro’s…something.

 

He moaned behind clenched teeth and he felt Zoro jerk in surprise. Heads twisted and blue met green fire. A hand gripped his shoulder and pulled, bodies twisting and shifting to meet in the middle. There was slipping, sliding, fingers grabbing, clothes being ripped and there was a hand on his ass, clutching tighter and what the fuck was he doing.

 

Sanji moved to kick, in the head would be good but with that shitty calloused hand holding him, he really didn’t care where it landed. He shifted again, cursing the lack of traction and ended up with his leg around a strong neck and a nose being pressed against his bare chest.

 

The hand left his ass. Good. His eyes widened as it latched onto his thigh and dragged his other leg up. He skidded backwards in the mud, the force of the hold too much to keep them still, until an arm wrapped around his neck and yanked him back. He wasn’t a fucking contortionist damn it shit, yeah right there. Underneath that hard body again and he could feel every fucking dip and curve of solid muscle as it meshed with his.

 

There was an erection trying to grind against his but the fucking mud allowed for no friction. His hips arched up, pressing closer and his breaths came short and sharp, his chest constricting with his odd position and lust attempting to explode every cell in his damn body.

 

He could feel his blood rushing in his veins and the thudding of his heart was too damn loud. Fucker was listening to it, ear pressed hard to his skin. Heat blazed between them but Sanji hoped to all hell that the idiot didn’t attempt something really stupid, like lick him or kiss him. Not that he’d be completely adverse to it if they were clean. But damn it, he needed to get closer.

 

Something hit him in the head.

 

There was a splat as it landed next to him and when his vision focused for all of a second, he found himself staring at a shoe. A familiar strappy shoe, followed by a familiar voice.

 

“You two had better not be doing what I think you’re doing!”

 

His goddess! His mind distracted itself and spun off in her direction. “Of course not, Nami-swAAAAHHHHH!” The great idiot flexed his body and Sanji thought his head was about to implode. Zoro didn’t like being ignored.

 

He could still hear her yelling in the background, muted slightly by the heavy panting in his ear.

 

“And where do you think you’re going? You are NOT joining in.”

 

That did NOT sound good.

 

Sanji’s hands found their way to Zoro’s haramaki and he fisted it, using the leverage to twist his hips. He breathed and moaned between swear words, urging Zoro to move just like yeah that there, harder moron.

 

“Muu…”

 

Was that Luffy? Oh shi…

 

Sanji whimpered as a hand dragged over his slick stomach, worked its way under his waistband and squeezed. He dropped his head back, exposing his neck and fingers danced across his wild pulse as he tried to just breathe. He could still hear his goddess and he moaned Zoro’s name as her words reached his ears.

 

“LUFFY, NO! And I am certainly not going in just so you can ACK!”

 

Luffy slammed into the two writhing bodies, Nami pressed to his chest for protection. His other arm retracted, dragging a stunned Usopp into the growing pile.

 

Sanji blinked and tried to comprehend what was happening but any thoughts were stopped when the hand on him tightened and he hissed through clenched teeth, lust driving its way up his spine.

 

White teeth and green eyes flashed at him.

 

“We’re gonna need a shower.”

 

The whole situation was fucked beyond normal. Not that it was normal to begin with. Sanji wondered what it would feel like to drown himself in mud… or maybe he could choke the shithead with it.

 

“Die.”