moe81 | Fic: Wrong Blond (Reply)

Title: Wrong Blond

Rating: PG for the lovely language

Pairings: Kuro/Fai, Zoro/Sanji…take what you want from it

A/N: For nonoji because she wanted Kuro-ponnnnn (TRC/OP crossover)

It was a face-off of epic proportions and neither of them were backing down. Blades held at the ready, muscles tensed and if one made the slightest movement, the other would capitalise on it.

Kurogane glared hard at the green-haired moron, daring him to take one step and then he’d take him down and damn the consequences. Why the hell he was so worried was beyond him. He could feel the other source of his irritation at his back, stupid smug grin in place.

He heard a smooth voice coming through the crowd and by the tightening of his opponent’s eyes and mouth, said voice was calling for him.

“Oi, marimo. What the fuck are you doing? Nami-san said not to start anything but you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

The scent of cigarettes wafted under Kurogane’s nose and he made a face in disgust, eyes turning to pinpoint the offender and give him a silent piece of his mind for polluting his fresh air. When his stare found its target, he nearly dropped his sword. A choking noise forced its way out of his throat and he blinked rapidly, sure that he was imagining things.

“Whoo.”

Kurogane tensed and almost swore. Damn Fai with his inability to whistle. One day he was going to teach the blond how to do it and it wouldn’t be pretty. There would be face pulling, mouth mashing, skin on skin, lip licking and something about that didn’t seem to be as platonic as he thought it would be but he’d still do it anyway because it was irritating and wasn’t he in the middle of a stand-off?

“Well,” the sound of inhaling cigarette smoke came from the blond in front of him. A blond with the longest legs he’d ever seen – and he didn’t stare at Fai enough to say that his legs we sexy as hell because they were – and the strangest eyebrow he’d come across, all curly and swirling and almost hypnotic, “Isn’t this interesting.”

Kurogane didn’t hesitate in responding, even if he was distracted by all the blondness around him, knowing that green-hair – didn’t the other one call him marimo? – would try to take the opportunity first and he couldn’t afford that if he wanted to avoid a big confrontation.

“Your boy there attacked my…him.”

Damn Freudian slips.

“Who the hell are you calling ‘boy’?”

Kurogane always found indignance amusing…as long as it wasn’t him.

“I do understand the lure of kicking the moss-heads ass but…”

Weren’t they friends?

“Shut up, shit cook!”

Unless they were like himself and Fai.

“…we’ve been told not to cause a scene…”

“Damn witch-woman!”

Then that would mean that they just kept dancing around one another.

“…and it would be nice to not leave a trail of blood behind.”

As amusing as it was to watch the verbal tennis match and find a pair who conversed worse then him and the mage, Kurogane needed to assert the fact that it had not been his fault to begin with. Surely the blonde would understand his position.

“He started it…”

And he was promptly interrupted before he could say anything else.

“And you’re not helping the matter either, shitty-ninja.”

He wanted to feel offended, really he did and maybe he was but he had the impression that everything to this blond was ‘shitty’ in one form or another, so he just ran with it and hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.

And he was so very glad that the kids weren’t there because they did not need to be hearing language like this all the time. Kurogane clenched his teeth at the thought of the white meat bun being in hearing distance and picking this up. It would never let up if it heard that insult.

“The damn mage can’t look after himself, so I stepped in to make sure he wasn’t going to die. That’s all.”

No other reason and it was as simple as that. None. At all.

“Kuro-pi keeps me safe.”

Because you won’t look after yourself, idiot and there’s no one else I trust to do it properly.

That still didn’t keep him from defending himself.

“Shut up!”

“Kuro-pon is so strong.”

He was not going to be embarrassed and he was not going to blush even as he felt his cheeks start to burn. He was glad the damn mage couldn’t see his face. He’d never live this one down.

“Dammit, I said…”

And he was interrupted again, this time by green-hair and at this stage was is really necessary to have names because it wasn’t like they were staying and they wouldn’t be making friends with these two, even if Kurogane was interested in their company because they certainly seemed interesting.

“I thought he was you, idiot.”

Kurogane could certainly see the similarities but from what he understood, Fai hadn’t been seen by the guy until the sword had almost reached his head and he had turned around. He must have some great reflexes, which he could completely understand being a swordsman himself, because his idiot hadn’t made a sound but the sword hadn’t touched him, stopping just short of possible decapitation.

“How the hell did you make that distinction, moss-head? The fact that he’s blond?”

That was a point to the odd curly-brow.

“He has the same kind of aura as you, aho. What was I supposed to think?”

Kurogane blinked. Say what now?

“Huh?”

Wait, did green-hair have…

“Che. Such an idiot.”

Not many of the dimension witch’s words really stuck with him with the exception of hitzusen. But was that explanation enough for…

“Kuro-rin, maybe we should go and leave these two to their own devices.”

…why the two blonds felt the same, unless this one was an altered version and if so, could his blond really be that snarky in some other world?

“Hmm.”

Fai’s words caught up to his brain and his agreement to leave was proceeded by the mage taking his hand and leading him away.

A last look at the blond with the curly brow – how did he DO that? - and he was being pulled back through the crowd and down a side street. It took Kurogane a short time to realise that Fai still had hold of his hand and that there was pleasant warmth on his skin.

And then the damn idiot had to ruin it… sort of. And he was not embarrassed.

“Kuro-woof is my hero.”

Irritation was always a safe way to handle this kind of situation because the last thing he wanted was for the blond to get any further under his skin. Not that he would be able to stop it if it happened and even if he did secretly revel in the stupid nicknames.

“MY NAME IS KUROGANE, DAMMIT!”